the air we breathe

have you ever thought about the air we breathe in and out everyday?

i never had until a couple years ago.

when my dad was diagnosed with scleroderma nearly 5 years ago

scleroderma

i hate the sound of that word.

my dad used to be the man with a project every weekend.

we'd go camping, fishing, help raise the ceiling in the kitchen (literally) with, he'd go skipping down the hall becuase he won $30 from a lottery ticket.

but now he cant, because he only has 23% of his lungs to use.

we breath at 100% on a normal basis, him 94%

let me explain.

scleroderma, is a disease, the buildup of collagen in the skin.

it can harden the skin. which he has.

but he has systemic scleroderma

which effects larger organs, hardening them, breaking them down to be unusable.

like the kidneys, heart and lungs.

his has attacked his lungs.

making it hard for him to breathe just to walk down our 8 foot hall way.

for a better definition click here

the time has come for the scleroderma specialist and the pulmonologist to discuss the next plan of action.

a: go back on a drug he had in the past which he can only take for a short period of time because it can effect the liver.

b: take a higher dose of the medicine he's on now, which can effect the live also.

c: activate his name on the transplant list for double lung transplant.

the doctor called, they arent going to do plan a or b. but didnt say c.

they have appointments next week to get the news.

its hard to see him how he is now. but i know how risky it is to have a double lung transplant.

a patient i work with has had one, he nearly died, recovered somewhat, and is now back in the er for colapse lung. UCLA has a great program, and i believe they will do their best. its just plain scary.

keep my dad in your prayers the next couple weeks, months, years.

give my mom strength to hold his hand through this and with whatever happens.

<3



yes, please!

well i was going to post some pretty dresses im debating on buying

but then i saw channing tatum on the todays show bust into moves.

oy vey! oy vey! oy vey!

i have been super excited to see Magic Mike ever since i heard word of it.

but now i am even more excited. i've already apologized to my hunk a lunk that saturday night my girls and i are going to be oogling his bod. and everyone elses in that movie.

we're bringing in wine boxes. sshhhh!

its about time they make a movie about male strippers.

i want to know when they are going to open a male dance place locally?

they have enough women strip clubs and what not, we need ours too. hello!

maybe i should start a chain. who's with me?

if you havent heard about it yet ladies or gents whatever you like. here you go!

um..yum!

ok stop drooling now!

dont you think that was so much better than this...although its cute, its not channing tatum.

via

happy hump day!



nightmares

i have this thing about dreams. i think they usually are trying to tell me something.

either its a fear, a recap, something thats going to happen, or a feeling i havent gotten in touch with yet.

i have heard that when you wake up 90% of dreams are forgotten within 10 minutes

so i try to remember by telling myself the dream over and over.

 im now pretty good at remembering my dreams, at least the ones i think are interesting or could help me sort through things.

does anyone else do that? or is it just me?

anywhoo, my dream last night, or should i say nightmare i dont see any point of. its out of the blue and completely random.

here it goes:

it was a group of friends and i off in a cabin at this park surrounded by a suburon neighborhood..not spooky or anything. right?

but the house was haunted by Emma Stone.

not just one but Emma Stone in each of her hair colors.

when we would try to escape one of these Emma's would come chasing us on her broom stick. she was some sort of creepy witch. Her face was cratored like she had too many pimples or burned at one time.

then she was also haunting all of the other kids in the neighborhood too.  

weird, weird, weird.

the only thing i could come up with was, maybe im bored with the blond hair color and need a change..

again.

i have been all of these colors. with some purple and bright red in there.

who knows?

did i mention its friday!?!?!?!?!!?

picking and choosing

i have been pondering which classes i should take this next semester.

usually i opt for two classes with my full time work schedule.

but i think this semester i will do three and be socially mia?

i was calculating how many more semester i have just till i get my AA if i take only 6 units a semester.

7.

seven more semesters! if i take two semesters a year then that's three and half years about.

sometimes i kick myself for delaying right after high school, and starting full time work, because i wanted a break from school, instead of staying home, working part time and finishing school sooner. then i could have a forever break from school sooner.

now, if i take that route i will be almost 28.

and I'm sure when I'm that age i will have other things taking up my time.

i have to say i am a little frustrated with myself. 

so that's what I'm doing this morning over this cup of coffee.

i forgot i have one more birthday celebration. i admit i may be a little spoiled when i comes to my birthday this year.

I'm not complaining. i love every bit of it!

tonight my lovely co-workers are taking me to a new line dancing saloon place called The Ranch in Anaheim. (they call the dance side a saloon, i love it!)

none of them have gone line dancing before but they know its like my bread and water so they wanted to take me, how sweet is that?

i have only heard great things about this place, the food is delish, and its gorgeous inside.

so tonight i will be teaching a bunch of my second madres a step or two.

yeehaw!

the last of the birthday celebrations x's 2

this past sunday was my families gathering to celebrate

my birthday

uncle mikes birthday (we're one week apart)

and fathers day

it was filled with alot of sun, swimming, food, good people and cake.

i hate being the center of attention so the birthday song is long enough but my family

has created their own birthday song that follows the original and you cant blow out your candles until its done. i was itching to get out of that seat..what you cant see in this picture there's about 15 or so other people surrounding us. ah so many eyes.

i have to admit my family kiinda rocks.

and the song goes:

"today is your birthday, you're one more year old, what a wonderful birthday that's what Ive been told.

on the cake there'll be candles all lighted for you.

and the whole world is singing...happy birthday to you!"

then you're free to blow those suckers out. 

<3

have i ever mentioned

that i sincerely dislike scarlett johansson

most movies i see her in she plays a hoochy mamma.

so now any movie i see her i see her as this house recky hoochy.

like in the movie he's not that into you.

she's the hot yoga instructor who hooks up with a married man and ruins that marriage.

then in vicky cristina barcelona

i thought the movie was interesting enough until i saw that scarlett johansson was in it.

i forced myself to watch it, and even that movie he's a flighty lost girl that

is down to do whatever that Spaniard wanted to do.

i did see the avengers and even with the red hair, it couldnt disguise her hoochiness.

(i know hoochiness isnt a word..but it should be)

almost forgot

happy fathers day!



graduation time

so proud of this kid.

<3

i just had to get a picture with this silly girl.

first attempt.

second attempt.

that'll have to do.

tgif!

birthday weekend!

howdy 24! nice to meet you!

the weekend started off on friday night, with some line dancing.

my life birthday wouldn't be complete with out a little toosh push, or slappin' leather

all dawled up.

we got a little silly

so much fun!

second night,

main st. Huntington beach.

me and hunk-a-lunk

monday, the actual day kinda sucked

it took me 25 extra minutes to get to work, due to traffic and trains so i was late, i am the only one in the morning with a key. no bueno. patients were waiting and cranky.

i got chewed out by a cranky lady for something i couldn't help.

and it was none stop.

i may have cried.

so my lovely co-workers surprised me with not one but two chai lattes!

yum!

awesome card! the inside read

(please disregard samantha)

if you don't know already...i am in love with corn! i ask for a side of it at dennys...

happy tuesday!

don't forget to let the sunshine in, and face it with a grin!



nobody likes you when you're twenty three

as my birthday festivities are speeding ahead

i cant help but think about the past year.

so much has changed.

when i was turning 23, where i thought i would be now, and where i actually am now.

then, i thought i would be living the married life.

a different job, with this one best friend.

but things change,

i was saying this year was terrible and am so ready for it to be over.

but then a real friend reminded me of the some of the great things that had happened in the past year also.

its a learning process. its life.

**

i grew closer to some great friends. who have been there for me through the waves, and the laughs.

i stayed with my same job, while with every job there usually are some dislikes, but now i feel i have taken big steps and have moved up so i feel more valuable.

i met this little bundle of joy, my nieceypoo oaklynn

i now have this, and its not a high maintenance job, which is a lesson in itself.

i am so grateful for my parents, who with open arms accepted me and poopers back in their home.

and most importantly,

i found myself again, who had been tucked away for a while.

{yes, i was mulan for Halloween}

Howdy, 24...

whats in the cards this year?

welcome summer!

surprise graduation party for brandon. (the one with the horns)

brea carnival. so much fun. we had such good luck. my hunk-a-lunk won $20 from a $2 bingo game.

and i won the cake walk.

and spun around and we screamed (i mean i screamed) like we were 8 years old on the sky diver ride.

got to spend some time with my nieceypoo. i guess i tired her out. she fell asleep like this.

<3

5 days until im 24.

im ready to toss the 23, which wasnt too sweet.

 and start a new year.